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Let’s Make a Deal

“Monty! Monty!” I remember my mother yelling that from the couch, calling out Monty Hall, the host of the TV show “Let’s Make a Deal.” The time I spent on the couch brings back warm memories. It taught me how to make a deal and is ten times more valuable than that garbage dump I didn’t actually create, “Art of the Deal.”

Wikipedia puts it good: “The format of Let’s Make a Deal involves selected members of the studio audience, referred to as “traders,” making deals with the host. In most cases, a trader will be offered something of value and given a choice of whether to keep it or exchange it for a different item. The program’s defining game mechanism is that the other item is hidden from the trader until that choice is made. The trader thus does not know if he or she is getting something of greater value or a prize that is referred to as a “zonk,” an item purposely chosen to be of little or no value to the trader.”

Here’s an example: This is how I put Trudeau in his place. Knowing that the alternative to what I offered was probably a giant shit sandwich, he took my offer. Of course this only works when the ‘contestant’ has nothing to offer. In Trudeau’s case he tried the usual Canadian maple syrup and beaver skin gambit, which is nothing as far as I’m concerned. So, the basic rule is: Make deals with people who have nothing to offer and be prepared to “zonk” them. In Trudeau’s case, the “nothing” he had to negotiate was NAFTA. I did not give a shit about NAFTA, or whatever it’s called now. I would have been happy to close the borders and let Canada starve.

If this all seems incoherent, that’s part of the strategy. If you look like you don’t know what you’re doing you can get a lot done.

So, in conclusion, take it or leave it, but let’s make a deal! What? I can give you four more years of beautiful leadership, or you can take what’s behind the curtain & it ain’t Joe Biden. That’s not a threat. Ha ha!